


FORGIVENESS

by ncsupnatfan



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Family, Hurt/Comfort
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-05-29
Updated: 2016-05-29
Packaged: 2018-07-10 21:24:39
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 7,914
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7008712
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ncsupnatfan/pseuds/ncsupnatfan
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>This is a sequel to In A Heart Beat for those who wanted to know what happened next.  Hope you enjoy</p>
            </blockquote>





	FORGIVENESS

A/N: Since everyone wanted to know what happened next, I decided to write another short story to give closure for the first. I hope you like where I took this and hope it answers those unanswered questions. Your comments are always welcome. NC

 

Previous Story Ending

“There was a major car pile up just north of here. I think twenty or more vehicles were involved; unfortunately your brother was caught in the worse of it. His heart stopped twice in surgery and I’m sorry to inform you, there’s been no brain activity since this morning. We tried to find any family when he was brought in; luckily we finally got in touch with you. Mr. Winchester, the only thing keeping your brother alive is the ventilator. I can tell you he didn’t suffer, he never gained consciousness. It‘ll be your decision how long we keep him on it.” 

Dean was staring down at his hands that were clutched tightly in his lap. He was trying to digest everything the doctor was saying but the only thing that stuck was Sam was gone, he wasn’t coming back. In a heart beat his brother’s life was lost; in a heart beat his life was changed forever; in a heart beat the betrayal didn’t seem to matter; in a heart beat he died too.

Part 2

This wasn't the first bad news he had had to break to a loved one over his career as a doctor and it didn't get any easier. He looked at the young man sitting in front of him watching him closely. He knew the second his words took hold and understanding was realized. A look of loss and despair haunted the young man's eyes as he sat across from the doctor.

"Mr. Winchester I'm sorry for your loss." he said gently.

Time stood still for Dean as the world around him blurred out of focus. The doctor's words rolled relentlessly around in his head causing a whirlwind of such mind shattering emotions Dean forgot how to breathe. His eyes glazed over as blackness threatened to claim him.

"Mr. Winchester?" the doctor asked rising from his seat when he saw all the color drain from Dean's face and his eyes go blank. "Sir can you hear me?" he asked again laying a hand on his arm not getting any response. He shook his shoulder slightly and watched Dean's head loll to the side and his eyes rolled back in his head as his body went limp. "Nurse!" the doctor yelled while guiding the lifeless body to the floor. "Nurse!"

"Yes doctor?" a nurse asked from the doorway seeing the body on the floor.

"Get me smelling salts now!" he ordered making Dean as comfortable as he could. He checked his breathing and pulse waiting for the nurse to return.

"Here doctor." a nurse said holding the capsule out to him.

The doctor quickly broke the capsule and held it under Dean's nose trying to bring him back. Without warning Dean lurched upward drawing in a deep breath and knocking the doctor back away from him. He stared wide eyed around him ready to attack whatever was near.

"Mr. Winchester, its ok." the doctor said cautiously pulling himself to a knelling position just out of Dean's reach. "You passed out, just sit still for a minute, don't try to get up." 

Dean panted hard and leaned forward holding tightly to the chair for support. He swallowed hard and tried to make sense of what was happening around him and why he was on the floor. Nothing made sense at the moment as he tried to piece together previous events.

"Get some portable O2 for him and blood pressure cuff." the doctor told the nurse as he monitored Dean.

The nurse was back in minutes with a small tank and mask. She sat them beside the doctor and stepped back slightly afraid of the young man still sitting on the floor.

"Mr. Winchester, Dean..." the doctor spoke to him as he got in his line of sight. "Dean, I'm going to put this mask on you for a bit, its oxygen. It'll help you, is that ok?" he asked slowly moving the mask toward his face. He watched Dean jerk away slightly but allowed the mask to be put over his nose and mouth. 

Dean felt the cool, clean, puff of oxygen against his skin as he tried to draw it into his lungs. He could feel the darkness creeping back from his mind as he pulled another shaky breathe in. With each racing beat of his heart, rippling pain shot through his head making him grimace as he tried to slow his heart rate.

"That's it, slow and easy Dean, you're doing good." the doctor encouraged. "I'm going to take your blood pressure so don't be alarmed." he explained taking the cuff to wrap around his arm. He felt Dean's body stiffen at first and could feel the trembling as he secured the cuff and began to pump it up. Dean leaned heavily on the chair letting the doctor check his blood pressure while he got his beating heart under control. "Ok, not too bad, how're you feeling?" 

Dean didn't trust his voice yet and just nodded yes, he was feeling better. He was fighting the darkness and was winning so his head was clearing now. After another few minutes he pulled himself up and fell into the chair with a slight groan. Annoyed with the oxygen mask now, he shoved it aside and let it drop to the floor beside his chair.

"Is there anyone I can call for you?" the doctor asked seeing that Dean was back with him. He watched Dean fumble in his jacket pocket before producing a cell phone and laying it on the desk. 

"Bobby." he said hoarsely as he got up on unsteady legs. Dean took a deep breath and headed out of the room back toward his baby brother. He was not letting him be alone any longer. He needed to be by his side and wait for Bobby to get there. 

spn

"Dean 'bout time ya called." Bobby growled into his cell. 

"Is this Bobby?" an unknown male voice asked slowly.

"Who the hell is this and why do you have this phone?" Bobby questioned as uneasiness settled over him.

"My name is Dr. Russell; I'm a doctor at St. James Hospital in Lawton, Oklahoma..."

"Has something happened to Dean?" Bobby asked interrupting him.

"No sir, not him, a young man named Stan Wilson is in ICU here. Dean asked me to call you...It's not good sir, if you can come..."

"Let Dean know I'll be there as soon as I can. Tell him...Hell tell him to not do anything stupid." Bobby told him hanging up and looking around his kitchen not sure what to do first. He hurried to his computer to check the airlines for any flights to Lawton. Luck was smiling down on him, there was a flight leaving within the hour and he quickly booked a seat before heading to his bedroom to grab his to-go bag. Bobby called a nearby neighbor to keep an eye on the place as he threw his bag in his truck and climbed in. He knew the injured one the doctor was talking about was Sam and if he read between the doctor's words, it was not good and that meant Dean was probably barely hanging on. Without a second thought, he gunned the trunk and sped toward the airport not knowing what was awaiting him at St James Hospital.

spn

Dr. Russell hung up the phone wondering what this Bobby person meant by his last statement. What could Dean do that he though would be stupid? He made his way to the room where he found Dean seated by the bed and holding the hand of the young man in the bed. 

"I got a hold of your friend and he said to tell you he's on his way." Dr. Russell told Dean laying the phone near his hand. "If I may ask, what's your relationship to my patient?" 

"He's my brother." Dean replied just loud enough for the doctor to hear. "My little brother."

"I'm so sorry Dean; I know this must be hard for you. If you need anything, let the nurse know." he told him quietly understanding now his reaction to the news of his brother's condition. 

Dean didn't bother to answer him as he watched over his brother; never letting his hand go thinking maybe his touch would trigger something in him. He silently prayed to anyone out there that might be listening to help his brother, to bring Sam back to him. There had to be something he could do, this couldn't be the end, not this way, not when there was so much unfinished business between them. He looked down at his raw knuckles and blinked back the tears that suddenly threatened to spill from his eyes as he remembered the last thing he had said to Sam. 

Dean stood over Sam, his shirt bunched tightly in his hand as he held his brother’s upper body off the floor while glaring daggers at him. 

"How could you do that Sam? How could you choose that demon over me? If I didn't know you, I would want to hunt you. Do you know how far off the reservation you’ve gone? Don't you know what you're doing to yourself? You're turning yourself into a monster." he screamed at his brother, shaking him hard. Sam tried to say something but couldn't get the words to pass his lips as he reached a trembling hand toward his brother. "I don't know if you're even my brother anymore. That bitch has got you hanging by a thread just waiting for your next fix and she conveniently disappears cutting you off. Did you think I hadn’t notice the changes in you? Look at how on edge and erratic you’ve become, the jitters you‘ve been trying to hide, the sneaking around behind my back to juice up. You’re no better than a blood sucking vampire. How can I trust you to have my back? Is this what you wanted Sam? Tell me, why? Why are you doing this to yourself?" Dean slung him aside in disgust before he could answer any of his questions and stalked away not looking back to see the despair and hopelessness on his brothers bruised and bloody face. He didn't see the tears streaming down his cheeks or hear the sobs that escaped his split lips. Sam curled into a fetal position and let the sobs wrack through his body knowing his brother was right and he was lost to him. 

"I'm sorry Sammy, I shouldn't of left you like that. I know this wasn‘t your fault, you were manipulated when you were vulnerable." Dean whispered to him as he rubbed his thumb up and down his hand, wanting to keep contact with him. A single tear slowly rolled down his cheek to drip off and fall to the sheet by his hand as he listened to the hiss of the ventilator breathe for his brother. "I shouldn't of called you a monster and said you weren't my brother, 'cause no matter what, you'll always be a part of me, if there's no you, there's no me. This is all my fault...Please hear me...I need you." he sobbed laying his head at his brother's side. He couldn't stop the tears now that they had started and they wet the sheet he laid his head on.

The nurse quietly walked into the room and checked on the two young men before silently leaving letting the older of the two have his time with the younger. She knew from the chart that there was nothing else they could do for him and it was up to the older to let him go.

spn

Bobby pulled the rental into the hospital parking lot and found a place to park. He got out and walked quickly toward the front entrance and to his boys, not knowing what he was going to find. He stopped at the front desk and asked for information about Stan Wilson and got directions to ICU. He headed for the elevators and took it up to the fourth floor then followed the signs to ICU. A nurse showed him to Sam's room and Bobby slipped in, stopping just inside letting his eyes adjust to the dim lighting of the room. He finally made out the two people in the room, one in the bed and the other laying at his side. He stepped closer and surveyed the equipment attached to the younger Winchester and noted the hiss of a ventilator making his chest rise and fall. 

"Dean, son." he called to him carefully knowing how dangerous it was to wake an unsuspecting hunter. 

Dean jerked, his hand reaching for his weapon as he sat up looking for the threat. He spotted the intruder and recognized his outline in the dim light.

"Bobby." he choked out, his voice raw and emotional. 

"Son, what happened?" he asked moving closer now. He could see Dean’s red rimmed, blood shot eyes and the haunted, lost look in them. "Sam?"

"Doc says he's gone Bobby, he‘s not waking up." he told him looking at his brother's slack face as all the emotional turmoil leaked out again. "I've lost him."

"Son, no." Bobby said laying a hand on his shoulder and looking closer at Sam's prone form. He could see the many injuries covered with bandages and a cast on his arm. He could see signs of bruising on his face by the light shining from behind him. Bobby had seen too many bruised faces to not know that Sam had been beaten recently. He closed his eyes for a moment and gathered himself knowing he needed to be strong for his surrogate son. This was not what he had expected to find and he knew Dean was dying right alone with his brother. “I’m goin’ to find the doctor or nurse, somebody and talk to them. Will you be ok son?” 

Dean nodded yes and he clenched his jaw to keep his emotions in check. He glanced at Bobby as he left the room and back to his brother’s unmoving body. He dropped his pounding head back onto the bed and closed his eyes hoping Bobby might be able to help.

spn

“Dean.” a far away voice whispered to him. 

Dean could hear someone calling to him and tried to focus on the voice as he lifted his head. He saw a figure standing in the corner of the room that he didn’t recognize. He seemed to glow with an ethereal light as he looked on at the two brothers. He looked like a man, but there was something more powerful about him that told you he was more than that.

“Who are you?” he asked in a raspy voice. 

“I am an angel of the Lord. I heard your prayers and felt your suffering.” the angel said, his voice calm and assuring. 

“There’s no such thing.” he scoffed letting his hand inch toward his weapon feeling the need to protect his brother.

“I can bring your brother back Dean.” he said to him as a dark shape of wings appeared behind him filling the room as they spread out. “You don’t have to believe me. There’s only one thing you have to do, in the distance future I will come to you and all you have to do is say yes, nothing more. One word and I will give your brother back to you. Both of you have major rolls to play, it’s your destiny; has been since the dawn of time. It can‘t be fulfilled unless both of you are alive.” 

“You can save him?” Dean questioned while he gripped his brother’s hand. 

“Yes Dean, if you agree to my terms, will you say yes when the time comes."

“What do you want in return, my soul?”

"No I have no use for your soul; I am not a demon.” 

Dean looked to his brother’s face and listened to the hissing of the machine before he turned back to the being. He would do anything to save his brother, no matter what the cost was to him, this was his baby brother and he had to save him.

“Yes, I’ll do it, please save my brother.” he said quietly turning back to Sam. “Bring him back to me.”

The being stepped to the bed and looked down at the still man before laying two fingers to his forehead and whispering softly words Dean didn‘t understand. He concentrated his grace on him and a soft, warm, blue glow seeped from beneath them as Sam’s face glowed in the bright light. As the glow dimmed, Sam’s eyes suddenly sprang open and he gasped and choked trying to breath around the tube down his throat. Dean was on his feet and yelling for help as he gripped Sam’s shoulders trying to calm him and make sure he was ok. 

“It’s ok Sammy, don’t fight it just breath.” Dean urged him cupping his face so he would look at him. “You’re ok, you’re ok. Help! Someone!” he called again punching the call button frantically.

A nurse ran into the room to see what all the commotion was about and saw Sam being held by his brother as he tried to breathe with the machine looking wildly around him.

“Lay him back and let me get the tube out.” the nurse instructed Dean as she grabbed gloves and prepared to remove the breathing tube.

Dean did as he was told, but stood close by watching every more she made with his brother. Sam’s eyes followed her movements, watching her take off the hose and proceeded to pull the tube from his throat. He coughed and gagged a couple of times as he winched in pain with the intake of air. The nurse moved the head of his bed up so Sam was sitting up more and could breathe easier.

“Slowly, breath slowly.” the nurse told Sam as she put the canula for oxygen in his nose and adjusted the tubing behind his ears. “I’ll get you some ice chips that will help with the soreness in your throat and I’ll page the doctor.” she said before heading back out. “My God this is a miracle.” she mumbled a look of shock on her face. “No one thought you would wake up.”

“S’mmy.” Dean said reaching for him only to have him shield away from his touch. Dean’s breath hitched when he saw the look of hurt and fear in his eyes. “I’m not gonna hurt ya bro, you don’t have to be afraid.” he whispered slowly raising his hand to cup Sam’s face and gently rubbed his thumb over his cheek. “Don’t be afraid.” 

“Dee..” he croaked out in barely a whisper. 

“Here you go, give him a few spoons of chips.” the nurse told Dean handing him a cup of ice chips. “I’ve gotten in touch with the doctor, he’ll be here soon.” 

“Alright.” Dean replied taking the cup and stepping back to the bed. He sat on the edge of the bed near Sam’s hip and scooped a small amount of ice chips up and fed them to him. 

Sam closed his eyes and let the moisture coat his mouth and throat, relishing in the coolness of the ice. He had his mouth opened for more as Dean prepared another spoon full for him. Sam watched his every movement warily waiting for any anger or violence to come forward. He remembered the fight vividly and the beating he had taken from his brother. 

Dean could feel Sam’s body against his hip tremble slightly and stiffen like he was preparing to be attacked. He heart broke into pieces when he realized he was the reason for this reaction. He had made his brother afraid of him; the one who had protected him his whole life; the one who would die for him; the one who loved him more than life itself. He had a lot to make up for and hoped that Sam would forgive him.

“Dean?” Bobby questioned hurrying into the room to see Sam sitting up accepting ice chips from him. “Sam.” Bobby smiled moving to the other side of the bed. “It’s good to see ya awake son.”

“Bobby.” Sam croaked out as tears sprang to his eyes for the man. He reached a hand to him and allowed Bobby to hug him. 

“How? What happened?” he asked Dean who looked away not meeting his gaze. “Dean, care to explain?” 

“The doctors were wrong.” Dean shrugged trying to be elusive. 

“Wanna try that again son? Ya can’t con a conman.” he rebuked him. “I read his chart.”

“Tell me.” Sam butted in knowing he was missing something here and wanted to be told what was going on.

“Are you gonna tell him?” Bobby directed toward Dean. “He has a right to know.” 

“Dean...” Sam questioned.

“What do you remember?” Dean finally asked giving his brother a quick glance.

“We fought.” Sam started looking down at his hands while Dean bit his lip and looked away still feeling the contusions on his knuckles as he clenched his hands into fist angry at himself.

Bobby watched both his boys knowing there was something here that he wasn’t privy to and it was something important. Some event had transpired between the brothers that neither was talking about. He waited silently watching each boy as the raw emotions flooded both their faces. 

“I was...” Sam tried to continue. “I was heading for Bobby’s...A semi ahead of me...” he continued winching slightly as if in pain from the memory. “Crashing...Metal ripping and crushing...Cars...Then blackness and a sense of floating in nothingness. I couldn’t feel anything, like I was...I don’t know how to describe it...I felt empty, no awareness of anything. Then I woke in the hospital bed with a tube down my throat.” 

“Doctor said it was a really bad wreck.” Dean said not seeing the frown on Bobby‘s face when he realized they were apart when this happened.

“Did I die?” Sam asked quietly. “Was that why I was on the ventilator? Tell me Dean.”

Dean wet his lips and looked down at the cup of ice he was almost crushing and softened his grip before sending ice across the bed and in the floor. 

“Yeah, doctor said you were gone.” Dean said just loud enough for him to hear. 

“Dean, what did you do?” Sam quizzed him knowing something had happened to bring him back.

Before Dean could answer, the doctor made his way back into the room looking shocked and elated at the same time. He was sure this young man would never wake up, let along be sitting up in bed looking at him.

“Mr. Wilson you must have some powerful connections. I can only chalk this up as a miracle, I never thought you would wake up, in all medical aspects you were dead, there was no measurable brain activity. I don’t know how this happened, but I am overjoyed that it did. I’d like to run some test to be sure you’re ok.”

“I don’t need any tests doctor.” Sam told him. “All I really want is to get out of here.”

“I would advise against that sir. At least let me do the basics for my own peace of mind.”

“Alright, but I’ll be leaving after that.” 

“Can you not talk to him?” the doctor asked Dean hoping he could convince him to stay.

“It’s his choice doc, he knows how he feels. I trust his judgment.” Dean said looking over at his brother and scanning him up and down for any signs of distress. His big brother protective instincts were kicking in with a need to insure his brother was ok.

“If you’ll step outside then, I’ll check him over.” he signed seeing there was nothing else he could do.

“Come on son, let’s go grab a coffee.” Bobby told Dean taking his elbow and guiding him from the room. He had questions he wanted answers to and he wanted to talk to Dean alone first. 

spn

They sat at a table with cups of coffee in front of them, neither speaking. Dean took a small sip of the hot liquid and felt it warm his insides. He didn’t realize how cold he was feeling until now.

“Wanna tell me what the hell happened and what did you do?” Bobby inquired, deciding to jump in feet first.

“We had a fight.” Dean answered, trying to keep the memories of it out of his mind.

“Over what? I know all those bruises didn’t come from no car wreck. What did Sam do that made you do that?”

“I can’t Bobby, not ‘til Sam and me have a chance to talk. We’ve gotta sort some things out.”

“Fair enough, but what did you do? How is Sam alive?”

“He said he was an angel.” Dean spoke quietly not looking up from his coffee. “He said he could bring Sam back for me.”

“Aw hell boy! An angel? Those are real too? What kind of deal did you make? Ain’t nothing given for free, especially somethin’ like this.”

“He just said, in the future I had to say yes.” 

“Yes to what?” he questioned, not getting an answer from Dean. “Dean, yes to what?”

“I don’t know, ok!” Dean blurred out. “It was Sam Bobby, he said he could save him, I didn’t care what it was, I just wanted him back.” he ended slumping dejectedly in his chair. “I wanted him back.”

“But at what cost Dean? This may be something you won’t walk away from.”

“I don’t care, Sam's alive and breathing, that’s all that matters. Com’ on, let’s see if the doc is finished so we can get out of here.” he said pushing the chair away and getting up.

“Idjit.” Bobby mumbled under his breathe as he followed Dean from the cafeteria. He started mulling over what an angel would want with Dean. To be honest, he didn’t think they existed, but if there were demons, why wouldn’t there be angels. He just wondered what Dean had gotten himself into now and if there was a way out of it.

spn

Dean walked back into the hospital room to find Sam sitting on the side of the bed buttoning up his shirt and reaching for his boots. He looked toward Dean for a moment and turned back to tying his boot.

"Doctor says I'm ok, most of my injuries are almost healed. Still a little sore and stiff, but that's to be expected 'cause of the be..." he stopped before he could say the word and cleared his throat instead. 

Bobby stood in the doorway and watched the interaction between the boys, frowning to himself. Whatever was going on he was determined to get to the bottom of it.

"I'll find a ride to the bus station." Sam commented.

Dean faltered in mid-step as his brow creased in a frown. 

"Whadda ya mean bus station?" he asked. "Aren't ya comin' with us back to Bobby's?" 

"I figured you wouldn't want me coming with you, you made your thoughts pretty clear." Sam said glancing at him for a moment and absently fingering the bruising that was staining his jaw.

"Can we talk this out once we're at Bobby's? Please S'mmy, I want you to come." Dean said hanging his head for a moment feeling the guilt that ate at his soul. "Please come." he asked again with more emotion.

Sam stood by the bed as a mixture of emotions raced through his mind and he flinched when he bit his cut lip. He wanted to believe Dean, but he couldn't let go of what he had done to him, it was still at the fore front of his thoughts and it was hard to look past it.

"Sam, you were headin' to my place to begin with, why don't ya come with us?" Bobby asked him hoping he would accept his offer if he wouldn't Dean's.

"Ok, for a few days at least." Sam huffed deciding he could borrow a car from Bobby instead of stealing one and leave after he rested up. 

spn

The inside of the Impala was quiet but for the music playing softly in the background. Dean was driving, Bobby was sitting in the passenger seat and Sam was in the back slouched up against one side door almost asleep. He barely registered the others in the car as his glassy eyes tried to stay open but he wasn't having much luck with it. Bobby stole a glance behind him at the young man that he thought of as a son and then over at the other young man whom he felt the same way about and decided one of them was going to tell him what beef they had with each other. Whatever had happened between them had to have been something really bad for this type of behavior between the brothers. Sure the guys fought, but they always made it right.

"Wanna fill me in?" Bobby asked quietly when he was sure Sam was asleep.

Dean looked out the window as his face hardened for a moment and he clenched his jaw tightly. He squinted slightly from the headlights coming toward him until they had passed. Darkness had descended around them as Dean sped toward Bobby's.

"Something is wrong between you two, don't take a genius to see it." he continued trying to get him to open up. "Talk to me son."

"Please Bobby, I can't." Dean finally mumbled never looking at him directly. He gripped the steering wheel tightly with both hands until his knuckles turned white. He needed to talk to Sam first; they had to settle what was between them before he could talk about it, if he did.

"Ya want me to drive?" Bobby sighed knowing there wasn't any use to press. "Are ya stopping or driving straight through?" 

"Figured I'd just keep driving." he replied forcing his hands to relax slightly. He shifted in his seat trying to get more comfortable before settling back down. Bobby watched him for a few minutes before turning back to stare out the windshield at the scenery flashing by.

"When was the last time you slept or had anything to eat?" he questioned since he noticed the dark smudging under Dean's eyes. He looked like he hadn't slept in several days now and that was not a good combination with driving.

"I'm fine." he answered dully as he rubbed a hand across his face to try and wipe the weariness from his face.

spn

There was hardly any traffic on the road as Dean pressed onward toward the salvage yard. He fought hard to stay alert, but the steady thrum of the tires on the road and already being exhausted had Dean nodding off for a few seconds. He jerked his head up and drew in a deep breathe glancing over at Bobby and behind him at Sam seeing both were still asleep. He shook his body as best he could and huffed out a deep breath before lowering his window to allow the cold air to rush into his face to wake him up. He was going to need to stop and grab some caffeine and gas his Baby up before long. He guessed they were still about six hours out from Sioux Falls. Dean concentrated hard on the road ahead of him trying to keep the Impala between the yellow and white line. His eyes lids were so heavy with sleep he could barely keep them open as the Impala slowly drifted toward the shoulder of the road. His head dropped to his chest for only a few seconds when the car ran off the road and onto the shoulder.

Bobby was thrown forward in his seat as the car fishtailed in the gravel and dirt while Dean tried to get it under control. He brought it to a stop just before it would of hit the guard rail. Sam was thrown from the seat and into the floorboard in back as he struggled to control his body.

"What th' hell!" Bobby growled out sitting up and looking at Dean in shock. 

"You two ok?" Dean panted his eyes wide and his body stiff as he clutched the steering wheel. 

"Wha' happened?" Sam gasped from the back as he pulling himself back onto the seat and looked at Bobby and Dean. 

"Yer idjit brother fell asleep." Bobby surmised madly. "Move, you're not drivin' anymore." he ordered Dean motioning for him to get out of the car.

"Ok." Dean said tiredly. He opened the driver's door and slipped from the car while Bobby slid across the seat and under the wheel.

Sam quickly got out and moved to the passenger seat leaving Dean to ride in the back. Dean didn't argue or complain as he climbed in back taking Sam's place. He settled into the seat letting his head fall against the side window and rest on its coolness. Exhaustion rushed over him sending him swirling into the ebony abyss. 

Bobby put the car in gear and carefully pulled back onto the road. He brought the car up to speed and steered it down the road toward home. Sam wiggled and twisted getting his long frame settled in the passenger seat before stopping and taking in his surroundings. 

"How much farther?" he asked quietly already hearing Dean's soft snores from the back.

"Five or six hours I guess. We'll have to stop for gas in another hour or so."

"Good, I need to stretch and get some water."

"Sam son, what's goin' on between you two?"

"I messed up big time Bobby." Sam finally admitted as he wrapped his arms around his body. He shivered slightly as he drew in a shaky breath. "I hurt him bad." he continued his voice hitching in a half sob. "I don't know if he will ever forgive me."

"Awe son..." Bobby trailed off hearing the anguish and pain in his voice. "Yer brother loves ya, he'll forgive ya like he always has." he told Sam glancing over his shoulder in the back at a sleeping Dean. All the tension and stress was gone from his face and he looked years younger as he slumbered not knowing they were talking about him.

"I'm not so sure 'bout that." he mumbled just lout enough for Bobby to hear. Sam turned away from him and curled as small as possible into the seat, resting his head on the glass not wanting to talk anymore.

spn

The truck stop was not busy at this time of the morning as Bobby pulled to the pumps and got out. He went around to the back to pump gas while Sam got out and stretched his lanky frame trying to get the stiffness out. Sam felt his back pop and crack with each stretch and moaned softly in relief.

"I'm going inside, should I wake Dean?"

"Naw let him sleep, probably best thing for him. Don't know when he last closed his eyes 'cept when he ran off the road back there." 

"Ok, I guess you're right." Sam nodded shuffling off toward the front entrance. He needed to hit the head and get something to quench his thirst. His mouth felt like a desert, all parched and arid and gritty tasting. He decided to grab something for Dean in case he woke before they got to the salvage yard. He had not moved a muscle when Bobby had stopped for gas and that was unlike him. When it came to his Baby, he knew every inch and creak she made and to not wake up when they stopped meant he was out cold.

spn

The change of movement in the Impala broke through Dean's unconsciousness as he tried to push his way awake. Images played around the corners of his mind trying to break through as Dean fought to not let them surface. He had already replayed the fight over and over in his mind trying to reason with himself, but couldn't bring himself to do it. He saw himself drawing back his fist to punch Sam in the face again when he suddenly jerked awake, crying out as he sat up in the backseat.

"Dean, you ok?" Sam asked turning to see the look of despair and loss in his eyes. 

"I need to pull over son?" Bobby asked him looking in the rearview mirror. 

"No." Dean finally huffed taking a couple of deep breaths to calm his racing heart. "I'm fine."

"I got ya a drink." Sam said holding a bottle over the seat for him. 

"Thanks." he mumbled accepting the offering his brother held. He unscrewed the lid and took a long swallow letting the cool liquid wet his dry throat as he pushed the images from his dream deep down into his subconscious. "Where are we?" he asked looking out the side window.

"Less than an hour out. Should be pulling in around dawn." Bobby told him.

"Want me to take over?" 

"Naw, I'm good." 

"Got ya some jerky too." Sam said holding up the bag for him to take. 

Dean took the jerky and tore open the bag so he could fish a piece out. He slipped it into his mouth and chewed slowly let the taste ripple over his taste buds. His stomach growled as the juices slipped down his throat to quench his hunger. To be honest, he didn't know when was the last time he actually ate food. His stomach twisted and gnawed against his ribs rebelling on not being fed as Dean chewed and swallowed the jerky hoping he could keep it down. 

spn

The Impala turned into the driveway of the salvage yard and stopped by the house. Bobby turned the engine off and got out looking his place over for any signs of disturbance. The sun was just peaking over the trees bringing the first rays of a new day to the land. Long shadows cast part of the land in semi-darkness and the rest in soft, glowing, warmth of light.

“It’s good to be home.” he grunted going around to the trunk to get his bag and let the guys get their’s. He headed for the front door and unlocked it to allow entrance for them. Dean and Sam had their bags slung over their shoulders and waited patiently for him to open the door. 

Not wanting to wait any longer, Dean decided it was time to face his demons and talk to Sam. Waiting was only going to cause more stress and tension between them and he didn’t want that.

“Sam, feel like taking a walk?” Dean asked him as they sat their bags by the stairs. 

“I guess.” Sam said slowly glancing at Dean. He had a sinking feeling of what he wanted and knew there was no use waiting to hash it out. If they couldn’t resolve their issues, then he would see if Bobby had a running car and decide where he would go.

Dean made a detour by the fridge and grabbed two bottles of water, tossing one to Sam before heading out the back door. Sam caught the bottle in midair and followed him out the door, closing it behind him.

spn

Dean walked through the salvage yard and the skeletons of vehicles stacked all around them. Sam followed a couple of steps behind him, his shoulders slumped and his hands stuffed into the pockets of his jacket. There was a morning chill hanging heavily in the air and dew coated surfaces of the landscape. The warming rays of the sun sparkled off the dampness like diamonds that had been tossed haphazardly around them. Sam frowned wondering where Dean was leading them as they left the salvage yard through the back gate and headed toward the woods behind his house. Dean headed into the trees, not looking to see if Sam was still following or not. He knew without looking he was there and continued on his quest.

The rush of moving water grew louder as Dean broke through the trees to stand on the bank of the river. They had come out here when they were younger to play and fish. It brought back fond memories for Dean and he needed that right now. Dean let the beauty of the surroundings calm his troubled soul and waited for his little brother to stop beside him.

Sam looked around slowly as memories of this place came back to him. He remembered building a fort downstream and Dean teaching him how to fish in the pool just below the small falls. They had caught tadpoles one summer and watched them turn into frogs until Bobby made them let them go. Those were such normal, happy times for them. They were actually able to act like kids for once and it had been nice. 

“Why did you do it?” Sam finally asked breaking the silence between them.

“Do what?” Dean asked frowning at the question.

“Bring me back. I know how you feel ‘bout me, you made it pretty clear.” he said kicking a stone into the water.

“You’re my brother...” he started to be interrupted by Sam.

“Are you sure?”

“Sam...Damnit...How did you think I would react?...You lied to me, time and time again. I saw you...I saw you drink that demon’s blood just like a vamp.” Dean spat madly turning away from him as he fought to keep his temper under control. “Why didn’t you tell me?”

“What was I suppose to say Dean?” Sam yelled throwing his arms up in the air. “I’m glad you’re out of hell, oh by the way, while you were gone I teamed up with a demon and found demon blood makes me strong enough to exorcize demons with my mind? How was I suppose to tell you without it freaking you out.” he huffed knowing this was not working. He turned to walk away but was stopped by a hand on his arm. Sam looked up the arm to the shoulder to Dean’s face.

“I’m sorry Sammy, I shouldn’t of exploded like I did and let my temper control me. You’ll always be my pain in the ass little brother. I hope you can forgive me for what I did to you and everything I said. I was wrong.” 

“Only if you can forgive me for not telling you what I was doing and not trusting you. But Dean you have to forgive yourself, don't let this consume you, if I can get past this, you have to too.”

"I'll try, but could you at least tell me why you did that to yourself? Help me to understand your reasoning 'cause I just can't see it.” he asked.

“Ruby said she could help me find Lilith and get my revenge. I wanted Lilith’s head on a stick for what she did to you.” Sam explained as anger crept into his voice. “I wanted her dead. You know how strong she is, I thought using my powers was the only way I could destroy her for good. And the demon blood made me stronger, I thought it was the only way.” he said hanging his head slightly with embarrassment.

“Sammy, we’ll get Lilith and we’ll end her, but not that way man, not at you losing your soul. I don’t wanna lose you bro; we’ll find another way together without you doing that. Deal?” Dean asked never taking his hand from Sam’s arm. 

Sam drew in a deep breath before letting it out in a big sigh. He looked over Dean’s head toward the waterfall contemplating Dean’s words.

“Deal, but only if you tell me what you did to bring me back and don’t say nothing Dean. I heard the doctor and nurses, I was for all intense purposes dead and...Now I’m not. No more lying to each other, we both know that doesn’t work. It only causes walls that separate us and tear us apart. Tell me.” he begged. 

It was Dean’s turn to step away and looked at the falls for a moment. It was still hard for him to believe how it happened, but he was there and saw it first hand.

“Please Dee, I need to know.” 

“The guy said he was an angel.” Dean replied turning slightly toward Sam. “He said he could bring you back.”

“Angel? You saw an angel?” Sam said in disbelief.

“That’s what he said. How could I not agree if it meant he could save you?” 

“What did he want in return? I don’t care if he was an angel, I’m sure he didn’t do it for free.”

“He said in the future, he would come to me and all I had to say was yes.”

“Do you have any idea what he meant by that? What are you saying yes to?” 

“I don’t know, but how bad could it be?” Dean shrugged. 

“Maybe Bobby can give us a little insight on angels. Did you tell him?”

“Yeah, he knows and I was gonna ask him what he thought ‘bout it all.”

“Did this angel say anything else? Give you a name or anything?”

“No, just we had a destiny to fulfill and it would take both of us to do it. He wasn’t very forthcoming with details.” Dean said picking up a rock and tossing it out into the water. 

“That sounds peachy.” Sam retorted throwing a rock toward Dean had chucked his. 

“Can you do it Sammy? Can you stop?” he asked softly.

“I don’t know, I may need help.” he admitted looking down at the ground ashamed to admit his worry.

“Ya got me and Bobby, whatever it takes bro, I’m there for ya. No matter what.” Dean replied resting a hand on his shoulder letting Sam come to him. 

Sam stood still for a moment before throwing his arms around his brother’s body and hugging him tight. Dean smiled as he did the same holding Sam tight and blinking away the tears in his eyes before pushing him back. 

“Ok, let’s go talk to Bobby. To hell with this destiny crap, we’ll do what we always do and kick it in the ass.” Dean stated with Winchester determination and stubbornness. “The future’s not set in stone; we’ll make our own destiny, not be puppets for those dick bags. Maybe Bobby‘s fixed some breakfast, let's head back.”

“Right there with ya bro.” Sam agreed brushing a hand across his face to wipe the tears from it. 

Be it demon or angel, neither were strong enough to break the bond the Winchester brothers had. It was a bond that was born the day Dean first held his baby brother in his arms and looked into his tiny face. It would take more than Heaven and Hell to destroy that and stop the brothers from creating their on destiny.

The End


End file.
